Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Stuff n' Such
So! Woo! Another week gone by! Am I the only one who's crying inside because Christmas is only a few weeks away? Man, why does it come so fast when you're older? Not cool, dude...not cool.
The piccie that I drew is just a quick doodle, commemorating the four year anniversary of World of Warcraft! Thanks for taking our lives and money, Blizzard! Nah, you guys are great. =)
Again, not really a whole lot to say nowadays...doing quite good...working hard....
Oh! My webcomic, World of Warcraft, Eh? has been featured on WoW Insider! I couldn't believe it! Eeeeeee!!! XD I'll keep working hard to make WoW Eh a success! Er...artistically, that is. =3
Well, it's late, and I'll hopefull blog a little more seriously nowadays...if you want to get more up-to-date (and slightly WoW saturated info), go to the webcomic.
Peace out, yo~
~Kelly
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
More Piccies; sorry, no post this week
Waaah! I'm so tired! It's 12:13 am and I sleep about five hours a night!! T___T
No post today; I just want to post this piccie then GO TO BED.
Sunday, November 09, 2008
More recent updates...?
Hey all,
Well, I guess considering I'm now just using this blog as a picture repository, I might as well post some updates as well. ^_^
I got a 360, and I'm eagerly awaiting Lich King. Rock. On. lol.
Anyways....I can't think of anything to say now, so I'll just post the pic I need. =3
~Kelly
PS - Obama FTW!!
PPS - Take a moment on Tuesday to remember our Canadian troops that fought and sacrificed so much in the first World War.
Well, I guess considering I'm now just using this blog as a picture repository, I might as well post some updates as well. ^_^
I got a 360, and I'm eagerly awaiting Lich King. Rock. On. lol.
Anyways....I can't think of anything to say now, so I'll just post the pic I need. =3
~Kelly
PS - Obama FTW!!
PPS - Take a moment on Tuesday to remember our Canadian troops that fought and sacrificed so much in the first World War.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Friday, October 10, 2008
This isn't really a post...
...More just a repository for some website stuff. =P
More to come. Or not. =P
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
A quick blurb before I go
Hey all,
Whew! I feel like I'm running around like a headless chicken! So much to do, so little time to do it in...lol. Story of everyone's life, I'm sure.
A few cool points:
-Fit Brains once again hit the number one featured game on Big Fish Games portal! I'd show you the screenshot, but it's on my work computer.
-Another E3 come and gone...thanks for giving us the shaft, Nintendo. 'Preciate it.
-I head off for Seattle tomorrow morning for the Casual Games conference! Too bad I don't have a camera, but I'll post about what I can! I'm so excited! =D
Time to split...I've got laundry to do before the night is up. =P
~Kelly
Whew! I feel like I'm running around like a headless chicken! So much to do, so little time to do it in...lol. Story of everyone's life, I'm sure.
A few cool points:
-Fit Brains once again hit the number one featured game on Big Fish Games portal! I'd show you the screenshot, but it's on my work computer.
-Another E3 come and gone...thanks for giving us the shaft, Nintendo. 'Preciate it.
-I head off for Seattle tomorrow morning for the Casual Games conference! Too bad I don't have a camera, but I'll post about what I can! I'm so excited! =D
Time to split...I've got laundry to do before the night is up. =P
~Kelly
Monday, July 14, 2008
"Wow, Yugi's a real asshole."
Ha ha...no, he's not.
Well, he kind of is if you watch this: The Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged series by LittleKuriboh. He takes the episodes of the popular anime, edits them into about six-minute episodes, and does all the voice-overs. HILARIOUS. I highly recommend stopping by.
Hmmm...not a lot going on lately. Still on Dalvynger; stop by and say hi if you're Horde. And hey, even if you're not, come by and say hey anyways! I'm a big, friendly tauren, so I don't gank.
YET.
I hit a personal milestone the other day...I walked around in a bikini without crying in shame! Huzzah! lol! I know, I know, it's dumb and trivial, but hey - it's a first for me. Not saying I'm going to parade around, but I can at least do it! That's a start! ...Right? =/
Hmmm....also, one thing that has been bugging me...
Now, call me whatever you want: facist, cruel, whatever, but...I think, that in today's ultra-modern and ultra-spoiled society, I think that people need to fear authority again.
We see it all the time, especially here in Canada. Spoiled kids who's parents don't discipline them, and equally spoiled adults who can literally get away with murder. Very sick sexual offenders, after only serving what, five to seven years get moved to a halfway house in the middle of busy Vancouver? The most recent example was that one of the co-conspirators from the Air India bombing - the worst mass murder in Canadian history - has gotten off (on bail, I believe) after what...ten years? For killing 329 people?! You've got to be kidding me! Three hundred and twenty-nine lives cut short because of your pathetic grudge against a government across the OCEAN?!
I was talking about this same thing with a co-worker of mine, and we both ended up saying the fabled 'Oh, when I was their age, I was never that bad.'
And, well, maybe it's true. I'm in my early twenties, and when I see kids in their early to mid-teens being little shits, I always shake my head and think to myself that I was never that bad.
Nowadays, there are stipulations and regulations on everything. Don't let your child do this, don't let them do that, so on and so forth. What happened to the good ol' days of having a scraped knee or a bumped head? Now it's commonpractice to Lysol everything within a 30-foot radius. I mean, I'm not a parent, so I speak out of ignorance, but for God's sake, why not just bubble-wrap them and be done with it?
Things like spanking your child isn't allowed anymore. I mean, I'm not saying pull out the willow branch, but giving them a good smack on the bottom if they're out of control is necessary, I think. I've even heard this sort of crap where they're thinking of taking out letter grades from school because it can 'damage their fragile self-esteem!' That's great and all, but in ten years, when they get fired from their job, their boss isn't going to say "Well, you put in a great effort there, Timmy, even though you didn't serve a single customer. Try better tomorrow."
I know I'm going a little off-track, so back to my original point - fearing authority. Again, I'm not saying this should be V for Vendetta or anything, just....the police aren't there to look good on postcards or calendars, they're there to police.
Here in Canada, you can literally be caught with the smoking gun, and the worst you'll get is maybe ten years. With probation.
Justice is truly for the rich, as well. If you have the money, then you can whatever you please without the penalty.
...Honestly, I had a lot more to say on the topic, but it's late, I'm tired, and I still have stuff to do before the great beddies. ^_^;
Peace out everyone, and stay out of trouble.
~K
PS - For great coverage of E3, head over to www.joystiq.com
Well, he kind of is if you watch this: The Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged series by LittleKuriboh. He takes the episodes of the popular anime, edits them into about six-minute episodes, and does all the voice-overs. HILARIOUS. I highly recommend stopping by.
Hmmm...not a lot going on lately. Still on Dalvynger; stop by and say hi if you're Horde. And hey, even if you're not, come by and say hey anyways! I'm a big, friendly tauren, so I don't gank.
YET.
I hit a personal milestone the other day...I walked around in a bikini without crying in shame! Huzzah! lol! I know, I know, it's dumb and trivial, but hey - it's a first for me. Not saying I'm going to parade around, but I can at least do it! That's a start! ...Right? =/
Hmmm....also, one thing that has been bugging me...
Now, call me whatever you want: facist, cruel, whatever, but...I think, that in today's ultra-modern and ultra-spoiled society, I think that people need to fear authority again.
We see it all the time, especially here in Canada. Spoiled kids who's parents don't discipline them, and equally spoiled adults who can literally get away with murder. Very sick sexual offenders, after only serving what, five to seven years get moved to a halfway house in the middle of busy Vancouver? The most recent example was that one of the co-conspirators from the Air India bombing - the worst mass murder in Canadian history - has gotten off (on bail, I believe) after what...ten years? For killing 329 people?! You've got to be kidding me! Three hundred and twenty-nine lives cut short because of your pathetic grudge against a government across the OCEAN?!
I was talking about this same thing with a co-worker of mine, and we both ended up saying the fabled 'Oh, when I was their age, I was never that bad.'
And, well, maybe it's true. I'm in my early twenties, and when I see kids in their early to mid-teens being little shits, I always shake my head and think to myself that I was never that bad.
Nowadays, there are stipulations and regulations on everything. Don't let your child do this, don't let them do that, so on and so forth. What happened to the good ol' days of having a scraped knee or a bumped head? Now it's commonpractice to Lysol everything within a 30-foot radius. I mean, I'm not a parent, so I speak out of ignorance, but for God's sake, why not just bubble-wrap them and be done with it?
Things like spanking your child isn't allowed anymore. I mean, I'm not saying pull out the willow branch, but giving them a good smack on the bottom if they're out of control is necessary, I think. I've even heard this sort of crap where they're thinking of taking out letter grades from school because it can 'damage their fragile self-esteem!' That's great and all, but in ten years, when they get fired from their job, their boss isn't going to say "Well, you put in a great effort there, Timmy, even though you didn't serve a single customer. Try better tomorrow."
I know I'm going a little off-track, so back to my original point - fearing authority. Again, I'm not saying this should be V for Vendetta or anything, just....the police aren't there to look good on postcards or calendars, they're there to police.
Here in Canada, you can literally be caught with the smoking gun, and the worst you'll get is maybe ten years. With probation.
Justice is truly for the rich, as well. If you have the money, then you can whatever you please without the penalty.
...Honestly, I had a lot more to say on the topic, but it's late, I'm tired, and I still have stuff to do before the great beddies. ^_^;
Peace out everyone, and stay out of trouble.
~K
PS - For great coverage of E3, head over to www.joystiq.com
Sunday, July 06, 2008
Hangin' round downtown
Hey all,
Well, first off, I've got to say I'm...surprised..and touched by the comments I've recieved regarding the last post two weeks or so back. Thank you all for your support; really. It means a great deal. It's also nice to see that people actually read this thing. =P ha ha...
Pardon again for the lack of posting. I'm a creature of habit, and having Monday AND Tuesday off kinda threw me off track. ^_^;;
A couple of things on the radar....
-I saw Pixar's Wall-E last night, and WOW. Once again, they have truly outdone themselves. Before I got to see the film, my biggest question (and what I was most excited to see) was how. How did they do it? All of the starring characters in that movie don't talk! They're robots...all they can really do is....well, emote. It's easy to show when Wall-E or EVE are happy, sad, annoyed, but to convey their entire personality on top of that was a real treat to watch. I need to find out who animated on that...
Not to mention that story-wise, it's probably the darkest plot they've undertaken so far. While The Incredibles has so far been the only Pixar movie to be rated PG, Wall-E's adventures end up defining the literal salvation of mankind, and this poor abused planet we live on. It's a fantastically charming story of love, companionship, devotion, and perserverance. Hats off to you once again, Pixar. =)
- I finally got to try out Mario Kart Wii. Eh....not impressed, Nintendo. Just because SSBB was a real show-stopper, doesn't mean it's going to carry all of your weight. Pick up your own slack and quit cheaping out.
- A few great concept art sites worth checking out...
~ www.conceptart.org
~ www.sonsofthestorm.com
Something nice to strive for (after I'm done chopping my hands off)...lol
-Oh, and, because I feel I have to openly support him (sorry if I offend anyone, but..it's nothing personal): I would like to say a hearty congratulations to Mr. Henry Morgentaler for recieving the Order of Canada award. This man rose up from the horrors committed by mankind (he was a Polish jew in the interment camps) and has strived to give women the ultimate gift - reproductive freedom. He has about six operting abortion clinics across Canada, and I think it's an amazing thing. He's fought controversy, beravement, and probably many threats to his practice, yet he kept going. Before he was 'legalized', Morgentaler performed thousands of illegal abortions, just so women could choose what to do with their lives. This is one of the reasons why I love this country so much.
So, to any pro-life advocates out there, keep believing what you believe. Keep forcing women into a corner, into poverty and ruin because you're useless and faceless God says it's 'not a nice thing.' Keep believing that your body is a slave to society, and that you have no say in how you want to do family planning. Hey, whatever twirls your Santa.
Or, how about this - to all you ignorant and bigoted pro-life activists out there - if life is so precious, why bring it into the world when you know it will not be cared for? If, for example, I had a kid in the next year, I wouldn't be able to survive. Within months I would have lost my job, and most likely either been living in my parents basement or on the street. I would have no job, no money, and no life.
Who wants to do that for their child?
Or here's somethingn else to chew on - there are already THOUSANDS of children worldwide, even nationwide, that are desperately waiting to be adopted. If you can pay to find EVERY SINGLE ONE a good home, well then howdy-day, you'll have put me in my place.
Why not crusade against the thieves? The murderers? The rapists? Why hassle and target women who have maybe made a poor decision, or worse - sexually assulted.
Why? Because they're already lost and frightened, and I know how religious zealots can smell fear. It's like blood to a shark. Easy prey.
I am pro-choice. A women's body is a temple; her own most sacred possession, and I'll be god DAMNED if anyone will tell me what to do with it.
...Well, that's all I've got for now. Keep it real, everyone. Make sure you enjoy the summer sunshine (if you have any where you are!)
~Kelly
Well, first off, I've got to say I'm...surprised..and touched by the comments I've recieved regarding the last post two weeks or so back. Thank you all for your support; really. It means a great deal. It's also nice to see that people actually read this thing. =P ha ha...
Pardon again for the lack of posting. I'm a creature of habit, and having Monday AND Tuesday off kinda threw me off track. ^_^;;
A couple of things on the radar....
-I saw Pixar's Wall-E last night, and WOW. Once again, they have truly outdone themselves. Before I got to see the film, my biggest question (and what I was most excited to see) was how. How did they do it? All of the starring characters in that movie don't talk! They're robots...all they can really do is....well, emote. It's easy to show when Wall-E or EVE are happy, sad, annoyed, but to convey their entire personality on top of that was a real treat to watch. I need to find out who animated on that...
Not to mention that story-wise, it's probably the darkest plot they've undertaken so far. While The Incredibles has so far been the only Pixar movie to be rated PG, Wall-E's adventures end up defining the literal salvation of mankind, and this poor abused planet we live on. It's a fantastically charming story of love, companionship, devotion, and perserverance. Hats off to you once again, Pixar. =)
- I finally got to try out Mario Kart Wii. Eh....not impressed, Nintendo. Just because SSBB was a real show-stopper, doesn't mean it's going to carry all of your weight. Pick up your own slack and quit cheaping out.
- A few great concept art sites worth checking out...
~ www.conceptart.org
~ www.sonsofthestorm.com
Something nice to strive for (after I'm done chopping my hands off)...lol
-Oh, and, because I feel I have to openly support him (sorry if I offend anyone, but..it's nothing personal): I would like to say a hearty congratulations to Mr. Henry Morgentaler for recieving the Order of Canada award. This man rose up from the horrors committed by mankind (he was a Polish jew in the interment camps) and has strived to give women the ultimate gift - reproductive freedom. He has about six operting abortion clinics across Canada, and I think it's an amazing thing. He's fought controversy, beravement, and probably many threats to his practice, yet he kept going. Before he was 'legalized', Morgentaler performed thousands of illegal abortions, just so women could choose what to do with their lives. This is one of the reasons why I love this country so much.
So, to any pro-life advocates out there, keep believing what you believe. Keep forcing women into a corner, into poverty and ruin because you're useless and faceless God says it's 'not a nice thing.' Keep believing that your body is a slave to society, and that you have no say in how you want to do family planning. Hey, whatever twirls your Santa.
Or, how about this - to all you ignorant and bigoted pro-life activists out there - if life is so precious, why bring it into the world when you know it will not be cared for? If, for example, I had a kid in the next year, I wouldn't be able to survive. Within months I would have lost my job, and most likely either been living in my parents basement or on the street. I would have no job, no money, and no life.
Who wants to do that for their child?
Or here's somethingn else to chew on - there are already THOUSANDS of children worldwide, even nationwide, that are desperately waiting to be adopted. If you can pay to find EVERY SINGLE ONE a good home, well then howdy-day, you'll have put me in my place.
Why not crusade against the thieves? The murderers? The rapists? Why hassle and target women who have maybe made a poor decision, or worse - sexually assulted.
Why? Because they're already lost and frightened, and I know how religious zealots can smell fear. It's like blood to a shark. Easy prey.
I am pro-choice. A women's body is a temple; her own most sacred possession, and I'll be god DAMNED if anyone will tell me what to do with it.
...Well, that's all I've got for now. Keep it real, everyone. Make sure you enjoy the summer sunshine (if you have any where you are!)
~Kelly
Saturday, June 21, 2008
People Like us; and You Know Who You Are
Hey...
Sorry for the lack of update last Sunday. It was...taxing, to say the least. (Well...apologies to anyone who actually reads this stupid thing.)
Now, over this past week, I've come to realize something...something important, something pertinant about people like me.
"Now," you inquire. "What's a 'person like you'? What does that even mean?" Well, a person like me is not incredibly attractive by any means or standards. I'm average height, pretty good teeth, decent skin (pale, at that). I have glasses (contacts when it's sunny), I'm...'curvy' (not fat or even overweight, just not...skinny)...I like 'guy' things, like video games, anime, animation (I'm one o' those 'artsy' types), and while fundamentally shy, I have the tendancy to be quite loud, and should probably clean up my language a bit.
People like me, well, I've figured that we just don't really get anything. We don't win. We don't succeed. We might a little bit, a small victory in the ever-waging battlefield that is life...something to keep us going. But really, those tiny wins are things like "Oh hey, I got a small raise!" or "I just redecorated my home a little bit!"
People like me don't have a great deal of money, possessions, and not a great deal of disposable income. So, while 'other people' spend their money on mani/pedis, carrot tans, Baby Phat shoes and handbags, and bad dye jobs, people like me spend their money on things that are required in the future: debt payments, RRSPs, and some sort of rudimentary savings. People like them have REAL disposable income.
Which, in turn, even with their fake attitudes, and carrot tans, and weighing 80 pounds, men still go after them.
Why?
Because they're one of those people.
For the sake of no scientific proof, those people are the wealthy, the physically attractive, the affluent, the socialites. Women who have the uncanny ability to be about as smart as a lawn chair, but can drink, laugh at all the right jokes, make friends with all the right people, but most importantly, look good while doing it. Men go after those women because they say that they want a friend, a companion, a soulmate, blah blah blah, but in reality, they want a good-looking fuck. A yes-man (girl?). Someone fun and moderately tolerable to show off to their friends, to say 'what a great catch' she was.
For the sake of political correctness, men say that they 'don't mind a bigger girl,' and that it's 'more cushion for the pushin' or something equally witty.
I have found this to be a huge, fucking, bald-faced lie.
Men really want the size 1-0s; they want the amazon women who, for some reason, either plastic surgery, genetics (lucky bitches), or whatever, but they're tall, they're beautiful, they have to be at least a 34-C, and of course, the above-mentioned money, looks, skin, hair, etc.
Before I dated my previous ex, I had mentioned something very similar to what I am posting now. His reply was "Well, do you really want those kind of guys to be attracted to you?" At the time, of course, I said something like "Well, it's better than what I have now (which was at the time nada)."
Now, the sad part. If you think about this as a real scientific analysis, then, well, I'm literally destined to be alone for the rest of my life. And no, I'm not boo-hooing as I'm typing this, acting all dramatic like my world is over. No. That's all over. As I type this, it's a grim realization; something I've come to terms with, and something that I'm probably going to carry with me the rest of my pathetic life. Hmm...maybe the closest feeling would be....getting the news that I have a terminal illness, or something. There's absolutely nothing you can do, you just, well....deal. You give a grim smile, sigh, and carry on, because that's all you can do. (Now, to anyone actually reading this thing, I am not comparing this to a terminal disease, because that's horribly self-centered of me. I'm just using it for the general feeling right now. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. =/ )
In about....oh, two and a half days, I am going to be a young woman of 23. Thinking back, I've gone through a lot, and I've worked very hard to get to where I am now. And really, I suppose I'm happy. I've got my own place (renting...ha ha ha), I'm finally, after 5+ years, am making a decent headway with my debts, I'm saving (RRSP and others), I have great friends, and I love my job.
But....
A friend of mine told me earlier this week that "You don't need to validate your exsistance through someone else. You need to able to love yourself before you can love anyonen else." Now, kudos to her, as those were really some amazing words of wisdom, but it's not really something I'm willing to follow just now. I know that you can't do that; that you really do need to love yourself and have confidence. But, when you're almost 23, with my track record, doubt starts to rear it's ugly head.
I'm almost 23, and I have never:
-Celebrated Valentines Day with a loved one, or had any sort of 'romantic getaway'
-Celebrated ANY holiday or special occasion with a loved one
-Recieved flowers as a romantic gesture
-...Recieved flowers at all
-Had anything really nice and thoughful (again, romantic) done for me - ie. someone cooking a dinner for me, giving me a shoulder rub, anything, really
-Had anyone really 'take care' of me. I'm always the one cooking, cleaning, and generally making sure they're comfortable.
-Had a boyfriend who wanted to be around me
I don't know what I am to men. I don't know how I present myself, or just why I seem to be the most unattractive human being alive. The sad thing is that I don't want to give up what I love in order to be loved. I love video games and gaming. I love the industry. I love animation, I love drawing. These things are going to be a part of my life, and while I am going to be alone, well, for the rest of my life, I pour myself into my work so I can feel at least somewhat fulfilled.
I guess it's either one or the other, huh?
Honestly, as pathetic as it sounds, I'd rather be alone and love what I do than be with someone who wants some dumb blonde to fuck on a Friday night. Also, I'm a red head, so that's not possible.
So, on the eve of a new week, and the new summer season (where??), I close the book on yet another spectacularly unsuccessful relationship.
With that being said...
You Know Who You Are.
You're a coward. You led me around with a carrot on a string for six fucking months while you ignored me, used me, and walked all over me. I never once asked for anything. I never once raised any objections when after weeks of not seeing eachother, you would shove me aside so you could go hang out with your friends. You came over only for free home-cooked meals and a warm bed to sleep in.
I take back what I said. No, I do not want to be your friend. Frankly, if I see you again in the next year, it'll be too soon.
You broke my heart. You broke me. I have no self-worth, no self-esteem, and no confidence. When I was with you, I was happy. I felt powerful. Attractive - no, sexy. Desirable. Confident. I felt like I could take on the world.
Now, I spend my nights drinking, going to the gym, and drinking some more. Once again, I'm alone. And alone I will be for...well, I don't even want to think about that anymore.
So I hope you're pleased with yourself. I hope you find another fancy fuck who's willing to change your diaper and give you your warm bottle while you don't have to lift an emotional finger. I hope you rot in whatever psychological prison you've fashioned for yourself.
You're on your own. I will not, nor will I ever, offer you any more guidance, or even a shoulder to cry on.
Nice to see at least one of us was willing to put themselves on the line for the other.
You're a self-centered prick. Live with it, and love it, because that is the real you.
I need a drink.
~K
Sorry for the lack of update last Sunday. It was...taxing, to say the least. (Well...apologies to anyone who actually reads this stupid thing.)
Now, over this past week, I've come to realize something...something important, something pertinant about people like me.
"Now," you inquire. "What's a 'person like you'? What does that even mean?" Well, a person like me is not incredibly attractive by any means or standards. I'm average height, pretty good teeth, decent skin (pale, at that). I have glasses (contacts when it's sunny), I'm...'curvy' (not fat or even overweight, just not...skinny)...I like 'guy' things, like video games, anime, animation (I'm one o' those 'artsy' types), and while fundamentally shy, I have the tendancy to be quite loud, and should probably clean up my language a bit.
People like me, well, I've figured that we just don't really get anything. We don't win. We don't succeed. We might a little bit, a small victory in the ever-waging battlefield that is life...something to keep us going. But really, those tiny wins are things like "Oh hey, I got a small raise!" or "I just redecorated my home a little bit!"
People like me don't have a great deal of money, possessions, and not a great deal of disposable income. So, while 'other people' spend their money on mani/pedis, carrot tans, Baby Phat shoes and handbags, and bad dye jobs, people like me spend their money on things that are required in the future: debt payments, RRSPs, and some sort of rudimentary savings. People like them have REAL disposable income.
Which, in turn, even with their fake attitudes, and carrot tans, and weighing 80 pounds, men still go after them.
Why?
Because they're one of those people.
For the sake of no scientific proof, those people are the wealthy, the physically attractive, the affluent, the socialites. Women who have the uncanny ability to be about as smart as a lawn chair, but can drink, laugh at all the right jokes, make friends with all the right people, but most importantly, look good while doing it. Men go after those women because they say that they want a friend, a companion, a soulmate, blah blah blah, but in reality, they want a good-looking fuck. A yes-man (girl?). Someone fun and moderately tolerable to show off to their friends, to say 'what a great catch' she was.
For the sake of political correctness, men say that they 'don't mind a bigger girl,' and that it's 'more cushion for the pushin' or something equally witty.
I have found this to be a huge, fucking, bald-faced lie.
Men really want the size 1-0s; they want the amazon women who, for some reason, either plastic surgery, genetics (lucky bitches), or whatever, but they're tall, they're beautiful, they have to be at least a 34-C, and of course, the above-mentioned money, looks, skin, hair, etc.
Before I dated my previous ex, I had mentioned something very similar to what I am posting now. His reply was "Well, do you really want those kind of guys to be attracted to you?" At the time, of course, I said something like "Well, it's better than what I have now (which was at the time nada)."
Now, the sad part. If you think about this as a real scientific analysis, then, well, I'm literally destined to be alone for the rest of my life. And no, I'm not boo-hooing as I'm typing this, acting all dramatic like my world is over. No. That's all over. As I type this, it's a grim realization; something I've come to terms with, and something that I'm probably going to carry with me the rest of my pathetic life. Hmm...maybe the closest feeling would be....getting the news that I have a terminal illness, or something. There's absolutely nothing you can do, you just, well....deal. You give a grim smile, sigh, and carry on, because that's all you can do. (Now, to anyone actually reading this thing, I am not comparing this to a terminal disease, because that's horribly self-centered of me. I'm just using it for the general feeling right now. I'm sorry if I offended anyone. =/ )
In about....oh, two and a half days, I am going to be a young woman of 23. Thinking back, I've gone through a lot, and I've worked very hard to get to where I am now. And really, I suppose I'm happy. I've got my own place (renting...ha ha ha), I'm finally, after 5+ years, am making a decent headway with my debts, I'm saving (RRSP and others), I have great friends, and I love my job.
But....
A friend of mine told me earlier this week that "You don't need to validate your exsistance through someone else. You need to able to love yourself before you can love anyonen else." Now, kudos to her, as those were really some amazing words of wisdom, but it's not really something I'm willing to follow just now. I know that you can't do that; that you really do need to love yourself and have confidence. But, when you're almost 23, with my track record, doubt starts to rear it's ugly head.
I'm almost 23, and I have never:
-Celebrated Valentines Day with a loved one, or had any sort of 'romantic getaway'
-Celebrated ANY holiday or special occasion with a loved one
-Recieved flowers as a romantic gesture
-...Recieved flowers at all
-Had anything really nice and thoughful (again, romantic) done for me - ie. someone cooking a dinner for me, giving me a shoulder rub, anything, really
-Had anyone really 'take care' of me. I'm always the one cooking, cleaning, and generally making sure they're comfortable.
-Had a boyfriend who wanted to be around me
I don't know what I am to men. I don't know how I present myself, or just why I seem to be the most unattractive human being alive. The sad thing is that I don't want to give up what I love in order to be loved. I love video games and gaming. I love the industry. I love animation, I love drawing. These things are going to be a part of my life, and while I am going to be alone, well, for the rest of my life, I pour myself into my work so I can feel at least somewhat fulfilled.
I guess it's either one or the other, huh?
Honestly, as pathetic as it sounds, I'd rather be alone and love what I do than be with someone who wants some dumb blonde to fuck on a Friday night. Also, I'm a red head, so that's not possible.
So, on the eve of a new week, and the new summer season (where??), I close the book on yet another spectacularly unsuccessful relationship.
With that being said...
You Know Who You Are.
You're a coward. You led me around with a carrot on a string for six fucking months while you ignored me, used me, and walked all over me. I never once asked for anything. I never once raised any objections when after weeks of not seeing eachother, you would shove me aside so you could go hang out with your friends. You came over only for free home-cooked meals and a warm bed to sleep in.
I take back what I said. No, I do not want to be your friend. Frankly, if I see you again in the next year, it'll be too soon.
You broke my heart. You broke me. I have no self-worth, no self-esteem, and no confidence. When I was with you, I was happy. I felt powerful. Attractive - no, sexy. Desirable. Confident. I felt like I could take on the world.
Now, I spend my nights drinking, going to the gym, and drinking some more. Once again, I'm alone. And alone I will be for...well, I don't even want to think about that anymore.
So I hope you're pleased with yourself. I hope you find another fancy fuck who's willing to change your diaper and give you your warm bottle while you don't have to lift an emotional finger. I hope you rot in whatever psychological prison you've fashioned for yourself.
You're on your own. I will not, nor will I ever, offer you any more guidance, or even a shoulder to cry on.
Nice to see at least one of us was willing to put themselves on the line for the other.
You're a self-centered prick. Live with it, and love it, because that is the real you.
I need a drink.
~K
Monday, June 09, 2008
Musings, the general, and when did November creep up on us...?
That's what I would like to know!
It's June 9, and it's probably a bit less than 10 degrees...it's cold, rainy and windy. Don't get me wrong, I love this province, but holy hell..considering that Vancouver has the....third (?) highest cost of living in probably North America, you would at least think that we could get a bit of sun. =P
That's...one thing that's been bothering me for a while now. Cost of living.
I realize that one must incure expenses. Such is adult life. You pay your rent, your bills, food, any debt you might have (credit cards, lines of credit, student loans, etc.) and whatever form of entertainment strikes your fancy. But now, especially with the 2010 Olympics on the way, I'm really starting to wonder - who exactly is benefitting from this again? Certainly not the working-class poor, the single mothers, those who work several minimum wage jobs to survive. In fact, I wonder if the only people who are doing this with a smile on their faces are the very wealthy, any investors, and the government.
I'm sure the Olypmics are going to be great, but at what cost? What cost, Gordie? You've literally fucked everyone who isn't bringing in over $35,000 a year! Oh, sorry, what does that comprise? Probably around 60% of the goddamn workforce!!
My workplace is situated in the very edge of the worst part of town. I have had to shoo crack addits out of my front door a few times, and we see and hear police whiz by several times a week. These people are sick. If not physcially, then mentally. I feel no pity for those who are there by choice; just to feed their filthy habit, but I weep for the mentally ill, the elderly, the disabled. They've all been ushed out onto the streets because all of their safehousing, mental health homes/clinics and retirement centers have all been closed down all from the lack of funding.
Goverment funding.
I hope you're happy there, Gordie! I hope you choke on a dirty needle when you take your first bite into that delicious 2010 Olympic games hot dog from your VIP seats. Useless bueracratic tit.
I'm not saying I could do a better job, but after being either working class poor or a student for almost all of my adult life, I can relate. I know what it's like not to be able to afford to feed yourself. It's not fun.
Honestly, I'm hoping for a housing market crash, a tuition freeze, and maybe a bit of an economic slip. Personally, I'm really not in the mood for another rent increase before the year is up.
Also, before I head off, another quick note:
We all recieved this email from a Fit Brains customer about a day and a half after our official launch....it literally brought tears to my eyes.
Hi there Michael,
I just wanted to take the opportunity to commend you on the wonderful site. Two years ago, at the age of 25, a cavernoma hemorrhaged to 2 cm in my left temporal lobe. According to the MRI, my brain looked like I was in a coma, though I was still awake and talking. The doctors could not explain it, but it was apparent that my right side had taken over the language function and was keeping me in a semi conscious state. Their only explanation was that I was one of the 'lucky' few. A short time later a craniotomy was performed to remove the bleeding. I woke up with minimal side effects, again to the surprise of the neurological staff. (I was not expected to speak and/or comprehend.) Since then I have been searching for an explanation for my recovery, other than luck.
Several months ago I came across the research of Dr. Yaakov Stern regarding cognitive reserve. I was very intrigued, as it seemed like the explanation I'd been searching for. I contacted Dr. Stern, but was disappointed to find his research focuses on post mortem testing. Simply proving the existence of cognitive reserve, instead of ways to improve or retrieve the knowledge.
As a child I read through virtually the entire children/young adult section of the local library. With a very high IQ, I absorbed information like a sponge. It seems now that I was able to build quite a strong reserve, which I believe I am still 'working from' today. I have lost the higher level of vocabulary, but still manage to function on an above average level. Unfortunately that makes rehabilitation a bit tricky. I excel on the tests given to other patients, but to me that does not matter. I feel that I should be able to rehabilitate to the highest level that I can achieve, not what the average is. I am confident that my brain can relearn what I have lost, and constantly strive to learn more.
I have been very impressed with the setup of the Fit Brains site, and your focus in the area of cognitive reserve. I have not come across another site with such in depth personalized reports and focus on each of the cognitive skills. The fact that it's free is even better.
There are so many brain injury survivors do not have a steady income to afford even a small monthly payment. When the free beta site went up, I forwarded it on to my team of specialists at GF Strong. They were equally impressed, and have begun to recommend the site to other patients as a tool for rehabilitation.
I have not yet had the opportunity to look at the new platform, but I look forward to exploring the latest developments.
Keep up the great work!!
Sincerely,
Audra M.
(I removed the last name just for privacy and politeness.)
I am so happy that our work is changing lives like this. Sure, our games can't contest to a good Halo deathmatch, but this is what makes it all worth it. ^_^ All the best, Audrea...our thoughts and support are with you.
Keep it real, all.
~K
It's June 9, and it's probably a bit less than 10 degrees...it's cold, rainy and windy. Don't get me wrong, I love this province, but holy hell..considering that Vancouver has the....third (?) highest cost of living in probably North America, you would at least think that we could get a bit of sun. =P
That's...one thing that's been bothering me for a while now. Cost of living.
I realize that one must incure expenses. Such is adult life. You pay your rent, your bills, food, any debt you might have (credit cards, lines of credit, student loans, etc.) and whatever form of entertainment strikes your fancy. But now, especially with the 2010 Olympics on the way, I'm really starting to wonder - who exactly is benefitting from this again? Certainly not the working-class poor, the single mothers, those who work several minimum wage jobs to survive. In fact, I wonder if the only people who are doing this with a smile on their faces are the very wealthy, any investors, and the government.
I'm sure the Olypmics are going to be great, but at what cost? What cost, Gordie? You've literally fucked everyone who isn't bringing in over $35,000 a year! Oh, sorry, what does that comprise? Probably around 60% of the goddamn workforce!!
My workplace is situated in the very edge of the worst part of town. I have had to shoo crack addits out of my front door a few times, and we see and hear police whiz by several times a week. These people are sick. If not physcially, then mentally. I feel no pity for those who are there by choice; just to feed their filthy habit, but I weep for the mentally ill, the elderly, the disabled. They've all been ushed out onto the streets because all of their safehousing, mental health homes/clinics and retirement centers have all been closed down all from the lack of funding.
Goverment funding.
I hope you're happy there, Gordie! I hope you choke on a dirty needle when you take your first bite into that delicious 2010 Olympic games hot dog from your VIP seats. Useless bueracratic tit.
I'm not saying I could do a better job, but after being either working class poor or a student for almost all of my adult life, I can relate. I know what it's like not to be able to afford to feed yourself. It's not fun.
Honestly, I'm hoping for a housing market crash, a tuition freeze, and maybe a bit of an economic slip. Personally, I'm really not in the mood for another rent increase before the year is up.
Also, before I head off, another quick note:
We all recieved this email from a Fit Brains customer about a day and a half after our official launch....it literally brought tears to my eyes.
Hi there Michael,
I just wanted to take the opportunity to commend you on the wonderful site. Two years ago, at the age of 25, a cavernoma hemorrhaged to 2 cm in my left temporal lobe. According to the MRI, my brain looked like I was in a coma, though I was still awake and talking. The doctors could not explain it, but it was apparent that my right side had taken over the language function and was keeping me in a semi conscious state. Their only explanation was that I was one of the 'lucky' few. A short time later a craniotomy was performed to remove the bleeding. I woke up with minimal side effects, again to the surprise of the neurological staff. (I was not expected to speak and/or comprehend.) Since then I have been searching for an explanation for my recovery, other than luck.
Several months ago I came across the research of Dr. Yaakov Stern regarding cognitive reserve. I was very intrigued, as it seemed like the explanation I'd been searching for. I contacted Dr. Stern, but was disappointed to find his research focuses on post mortem testing. Simply proving the existence of cognitive reserve, instead of ways to improve or retrieve the knowledge.
As a child I read through virtually the entire children/young adult section of the local library. With a very high IQ, I absorbed information like a sponge. It seems now that I was able to build quite a strong reserve, which I believe I am still 'working from' today. I have lost the higher level of vocabulary, but still manage to function on an above average level. Unfortunately that makes rehabilitation a bit tricky. I excel on the tests given to other patients, but to me that does not matter. I feel that I should be able to rehabilitate to the highest level that I can achieve, not what the average is. I am confident that my brain can relearn what I have lost, and constantly strive to learn more.
I have been very impressed with the setup of the Fit Brains site, and your focus in the area of cognitive reserve. I have not come across another site with such in depth personalized reports and focus on each of the cognitive skills. The fact that it's free is even better.
There are so many brain injury survivors do not have a steady income to afford even a small monthly payment. When the free beta site went up, I forwarded it on to my team of specialists at GF Strong. They were equally impressed, and have begun to recommend the site to other patients as a tool for rehabilitation.
I have not yet had the opportunity to look at the new platform, but I look forward to exploring the latest developments.
Keep up the great work!!
Sincerely,
Audra M.
(I removed the last name just for privacy and politeness.)
I am so happy that our work is changing lives like this. Sure, our games can't contest to a good Halo deathmatch, but this is what makes it all worth it. ^_^ All the best, Audrea...our thoughts and support are with you.
Keep it real, all.
~K
Monday, June 02, 2008
Fit Brains FTW!!
Well, it's Monday, June 2...officially the first day of our site launch.
Honestly, it was a little more anti-climactic than I though it would be...lol...but really, it felt so good to hear my boss say "Well gang, this is it. We're finally up now!" I work with some of the most talented, amazing and hard-working people I've ever met. Everyone has their own quirks, but hey, who doesn't?
I raise a glass to everyone! Great job, team! You all deserve the praise. =)
So, once again, for the three people (if not less) that read this sorry excuse for a blog, http://www.fitbrains.com/. Take a bite. It's delicious. =3
Now, I'm going to talk about what I probably shouldn't, and that's World of Warcraft. YES, I FINALLY started playing. I know, I know....shame on me and all that jazz.
My first encounter with WoW dates back to 2003, when it was actually released in North America. I was working at my first EB Games job over in the new Mission store. To be honest, I had known about the general Warcraft universe...my brother and a few of my friends were big fans, but at that time, and what was my reasoning since it came out: MMO's require two things I don't have: time and money. If I wasn't working two to three part-time, minimum wage jobs to stay afloat, then I was a full-time student. THEN I was knee-deep in animation work! So now....finally....finally, after all this time, I finally started playing.
And you know what?
I LOVE it!
This is actually my main, Cady...I haven't made any alts yet.
Moo. Yes, for some reason, I have a big tauren fetish. Well, okay, not so much a fetish as I just really like them. I admire the Tauren....honorable people, who respect eachother and strive only to coexsist in harmony with the Earth Mother (Mother Nature, if you will). Their entire culture has, not once, ever seen progress through conquest...they have fought in wars, but only to defend that which they believe is worth protecting.
So, this is Cady. She's my level...18 druid. Currently, I am pulling my hair out trekking across the Goddamn continent trying to get her water travel form. Ugh. -_-
If you'd like more information on the Tauren race, please consult your local library, or just parouse through here: www.wowwiki.com. VERY handy site for everyone...from the lowly noob to the seasoned veteran, there's something new for everyone to learn. I'm actually having a lot of fun reading about all of Azeroth's history and major heros and villians. Very fun stuff. =)
So, with that being said, there's something I've been thinking about: in MMO's, it is said that nearly 80% of female avatars/characters are actually all played by men. Now, when I asked my boyfriend about it (he used to be big into Guild Wars), I asked him why he played a female character. After a bit of mumbling and dodging, I concluded for him that it all comes down to one factor: who's ass would you rather stare at for hours at a time? A big hairy man ass, or a supple female derier? I would assume the choice was obvious, and he agreed.
So, then, by his (my?) definition, does that me some sort of lesbian? No, it doesn't. When given the chance for character customization, I will, almost without fail, play a woman. Why? Because I enjoy living the fantasty of playing a strong female character. Cady, my tauren, is probably about over seven feet tall, and several hundred pounds. She's not obese; she has a wonderful hourglass figure, actually, but she's strong. Cady can shapeshift into fearsome animals with the click of a button. She can cast painful and debilitating spells that can lay a mob or player to waste. I play women because I like seeing women succeed. Pardon the language, but fuck all that damsel in distress bullcrap. I am a modern woman, and I like playing powerful, intelligent and independant characaters. Plain and simple.
Again, if anyone else actually does read this blog, thoughts? Comments? Am I off my rocker? Who knows?
The important thing is, for MMOs and any other game you play, play to have fun. =)
Peace out, yo~
Kelly
Sunday, May 18, 2008
No excuses! Back to it!
Wow...alright. *whew*
Not sure if anyone even reads this crappy excuse for a blog anymore (or even if they did in the first place)....But hey. I'm going to start again.
My name is Kelly....and I am an artist and 2D animator for the BEST casual games company in Vancouver called Fit Brains. http://www.fitbrains.com/ You should go and take a look. =3
Coming from a classical animation background, I've found the world of gaming to be...well, the road to paradise isn't often paved. =P As my creative director once said: " In gaming, we work hard, and we play hard."
Now, keep in mind that casual gaming (making them, at least) is hardly a career choice filled with the same perks that Triple-A gaming does. (For those of you new to this, a 'AAA' game is one with a massive budget, and anywhere from a 1+ year timeline...think any EA game, for example.) But seeing the comparison in the two iconic industries of gaming and animation, I was honestly shocked. I always thought them to be pretty much the same, and believe me, while gaming certainly does have it's pitfalls, it's...well, dare I say better than animation.
By no means am I ever giving up animation! God no! I love the art form, and while I'm hardly very good at it, I'm passionate about it, and that's gotta count for something. But, while I was working in animation (I won't mention what studios); while it was a fantastic experience both times, it was always the people you worked with who made it. The animation industry itself shows no love for it's subjects; I worked with many talented animators who were raising or just starting to raise young families. Now, that I'm in gaming, where I definitely work hard, I feel I'm treated so much better in the long run than I was in animation. Animation is SO UNSTABLE; I can't imagine having a kid and a husband and just jumping from contract to contract...
I guess, as a whole, you have to know what you're getting into. Anyone will tell you that the entertainment industry, whatever branch you may take (film/tv, gaming, animation, music, etc.) is the life to live if you're single, or at least have very few committments. But even if you do have more dependancies, if you play you're cards right, and don't burn your bridges, you should be okay.
I feel there's so much more that I can say, or, at least, somewhat educated opinions....but I've only been a industry girl for the past year and a bit, so take what I've said with a grain of salt. =)
An important thing that's been coming up over and over again is art within video games. Personally, that's what I live for: rich storylines; a veritable tapestry of love, heroism, tragedy, and perserverance accompanied with characters that all have their own story to tell...their own quirks, talents, likes and dislikes. To me, THAT'S a game I'd want to play, and THAT'S the quality of game I would one day like to contribute to. But art...art is what you connect with on the screen.
We live in a time where technology is only getting better. We can do amazing things with computers; effects, shots, anything you can imagine, it can almost definitely be made to reality. Same with animation.
In my opinion, animation within gaming has the ability to take that leap! Now, I'm not a 3D animator. In fact, I'd go as far to say that I'm probably the WORST 3D animator on Earth. But I wish that game studios and creative directors would stop hiring people who taught themselves Maya in their mother's basement, and get some REAL animators on board. Take Pixar, for example - they won't even so much as glance at your portfolio unless you've got a solid 2D/classsical foundation. I realize there's only so much you can do, and the difference between interactive media (gaming) and non-interactive (animation, art films, tv media) is quite large. Little animated flourishes that end up looking great in storytelling, but only try the players' patience in gaming, are not always possible. I get that. But there is a happy medium...we only need to find it.
One of the best examples I can think of is Odin Sphere for the PS2. Odin Sphere, developed by Vanillaware (also responsible for GrimGrimoire) and published by Atlus, is a 2D game with entirely hand-drawn art and animation. Watching it play, I couldn't even tell what they used to animate. I'll assume Maya, but...it was like Flash, but not...it was so much more beautiful. It's a game I recommend not only for it's thrilling storyline and fantastic art and animation, but because it shows what greatness can be achieved when art takes the forefront - there are no guns, no explosions, no nothing like that...it's a beautiful and tragic tale of five characters fighting for what they believe is right.
Now, that leads me into my next point: while games like this are truly art, does it pay the bills for the developers and publishers?
Sadly, for the most part, no.
Next case: Okami for the PS2. Developed by Clover Studios (also having done all Viewtiful Joe games, along with God Hand), Okami was what is best called a 'sleeper hit.' Certain people loved it, and despite winning awards hand over fist, and getting rave reviews from major sites and game journalists, Okami suffered lack-luster sales. Why? Who knows? Some people think that it was marketed poorly. Other people think that the average moranic American kid with a bb-gun wouldn't be interested in playing the reincarnation of the Japanese sun goddess in wolf form. I remember watching in excitment as Okami was announced a re-release on the Nintenod Wii. "Finally," I thought. "Maybe with Nintendo's label slapped on it, Okami will finally get the recognition it deserves."
...It didn't go as well as I had hoped.
First off, in this 'comedy of errors' as Joystiq called it, the grand re-release of Okami was marred on the goddman front cover! Yes, oh yes - if you look by Amaterasu's mouth, you'll see a big, fat, ugly, corporate 'IGN' watermark. I kid you not. Take a look for yourself.
Then, if that was a slap to the face to the now-disbanded Clover Studios, then this was the kick to the junk: the staff of CS, all those hardworking artists, programmers, designers..you name it...all of them, who gave us their blood, sweat and tears in the form of one of the greatest games you will ever behold, got their credits taken out of the Wii version. Yeah, way to go, Crapcom! Their excuse was "Oh, well, the end credits was all one big pre-rendered movie, and it had the Clover Studios logo in it, and, uh, we didn't have the rights to use it, so, we just like, took it all out." My jaw literally hit the floor when I was reading this - imagine something you worked on for...god, three years? More? Had your name taken off and showcased as someone else's work? You'd be pissed, right? Because IT'S A GODDAMN INJUSTICE, that's why!!
So...wow, what a tyrade. I guess, in closing, don't give up, artists. I know it's hard to make a living in a world where how much revenue it generates is more important that creativity or health, but keep at it.
We'll change their mind eventually. =)
Peace out, yo~
~Kelly
Next week: I stop sucking, and acutally start updating! I will most likely talk about my love-affair with WoW. =3
Not sure if anyone even reads this crappy excuse for a blog anymore (or even if they did in the first place)....But hey. I'm going to start again.
My name is Kelly....and I am an artist and 2D animator for the BEST casual games company in Vancouver called Fit Brains. http://www.fitbrains.com/ You should go and take a look. =3
Coming from a classical animation background, I've found the world of gaming to be...well, the road to paradise isn't often paved. =P As my creative director once said: " In gaming, we work hard, and we play hard."
Now, keep in mind that casual gaming (making them, at least) is hardly a career choice filled with the same perks that Triple-A gaming does. (For those of you new to this, a 'AAA' game is one with a massive budget, and anywhere from a 1+ year timeline...think any EA game, for example.) But seeing the comparison in the two iconic industries of gaming and animation, I was honestly shocked. I always thought them to be pretty much the same, and believe me, while gaming certainly does have it's pitfalls, it's...well, dare I say better than animation.
By no means am I ever giving up animation! God no! I love the art form, and while I'm hardly very good at it, I'm passionate about it, and that's gotta count for something. But, while I was working in animation (I won't mention what studios); while it was a fantastic experience both times, it was always the people you worked with who made it. The animation industry itself shows no love for it's subjects; I worked with many talented animators who were raising or just starting to raise young families. Now, that I'm in gaming, where I definitely work hard, I feel I'm treated so much better in the long run than I was in animation. Animation is SO UNSTABLE; I can't imagine having a kid and a husband and just jumping from contract to contract...
I guess, as a whole, you have to know what you're getting into. Anyone will tell you that the entertainment industry, whatever branch you may take (film/tv, gaming, animation, music, etc.) is the life to live if you're single, or at least have very few committments. But even if you do have more dependancies, if you play you're cards right, and don't burn your bridges, you should be okay.
I feel there's so much more that I can say, or, at least, somewhat educated opinions....but I've only been a industry girl for the past year and a bit, so take what I've said with a grain of salt. =)
An important thing that's been coming up over and over again is art within video games. Personally, that's what I live for: rich storylines; a veritable tapestry of love, heroism, tragedy, and perserverance accompanied with characters that all have their own story to tell...their own quirks, talents, likes and dislikes. To me, THAT'S a game I'd want to play, and THAT'S the quality of game I would one day like to contribute to. But art...art is what you connect with on the screen.
We live in a time where technology is only getting better. We can do amazing things with computers; effects, shots, anything you can imagine, it can almost definitely be made to reality. Same with animation.
In my opinion, animation within gaming has the ability to take that leap! Now, I'm not a 3D animator. In fact, I'd go as far to say that I'm probably the WORST 3D animator on Earth. But I wish that game studios and creative directors would stop hiring people who taught themselves Maya in their mother's basement, and get some REAL animators on board. Take Pixar, for example - they won't even so much as glance at your portfolio unless you've got a solid 2D/classsical foundation. I realize there's only so much you can do, and the difference between interactive media (gaming) and non-interactive (animation, art films, tv media) is quite large. Little animated flourishes that end up looking great in storytelling, but only try the players' patience in gaming, are not always possible. I get that. But there is a happy medium...we only need to find it.
One of the best examples I can think of is Odin Sphere for the PS2. Odin Sphere, developed by Vanillaware (also responsible for GrimGrimoire) and published by Atlus, is a 2D game with entirely hand-drawn art and animation. Watching it play, I couldn't even tell what they used to animate. I'll assume Maya, but...it was like Flash, but not...it was so much more beautiful. It's a game I recommend not only for it's thrilling storyline and fantastic art and animation, but because it shows what greatness can be achieved when art takes the forefront - there are no guns, no explosions, no nothing like that...it's a beautiful and tragic tale of five characters fighting for what they believe is right.
Now, that leads me into my next point: while games like this are truly art, does it pay the bills for the developers and publishers?
Sadly, for the most part, no.
Next case: Okami for the PS2. Developed by Clover Studios (also having done all Viewtiful Joe games, along with God Hand), Okami was what is best called a 'sleeper hit.' Certain people loved it, and despite winning awards hand over fist, and getting rave reviews from major sites and game journalists, Okami suffered lack-luster sales. Why? Who knows? Some people think that it was marketed poorly. Other people think that the average moranic American kid with a bb-gun wouldn't be interested in playing the reincarnation of the Japanese sun goddess in wolf form. I remember watching in excitment as Okami was announced a re-release on the Nintenod Wii. "Finally," I thought. "Maybe with Nintendo's label slapped on it, Okami will finally get the recognition it deserves."
...It didn't go as well as I had hoped.
First off, in this 'comedy of errors' as Joystiq called it, the grand re-release of Okami was marred on the goddman front cover! Yes, oh yes - if you look by Amaterasu's mouth, you'll see a big, fat, ugly, corporate 'IGN' watermark. I kid you not. Take a look for yourself.
Then, if that was a slap to the face to the now-disbanded Clover Studios, then this was the kick to the junk: the staff of CS, all those hardworking artists, programmers, designers..you name it...all of them, who gave us their blood, sweat and tears in the form of one of the greatest games you will ever behold, got their credits taken out of the Wii version. Yeah, way to go, Crapcom! Their excuse was "Oh, well, the end credits was all one big pre-rendered movie, and it had the Clover Studios logo in it, and, uh, we didn't have the rights to use it, so, we just like, took it all out." My jaw literally hit the floor when I was reading this - imagine something you worked on for...god, three years? More? Had your name taken off and showcased as someone else's work? You'd be pissed, right? Because IT'S A GODDAMN INJUSTICE, that's why!!
So...wow, what a tyrade. I guess, in closing, don't give up, artists. I know it's hard to make a living in a world where how much revenue it generates is more important that creativity or health, but keep at it.
We'll change their mind eventually. =)
Peace out, yo~
~Kelly
Next week: I stop sucking, and acutally start updating! I will most likely talk about my love-affair with WoW. =3
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